What Fashions on the Field means to me
Back in the day (that day was a looonnnnggg time ago) I was quite the glamourpuss. Before babies, with my kick ass career, beautiful house and party animal friends. I had a nice little identity and will admit I liked to attend the races mainly to get dressed up and party all night long.
A few years later I gave birth to my Daughter Daniella and developed Post Natal Depression and Anxiety (PNDA). I was really down in the dumps. My pregnancy and birth were not what dreams are made of and I struggled to see myself as me once I became a mother. Compounding this traumatic time I could no longer party, I had given up my career and I looked significantly different. These may seem trivial to some people but for someone who’s always taken great pride in their work and appearance these factors combined started to weigh me down. I couldn’t resonate who I was anymore. And I had the most beautiful Daughter who was overcoming some growth, feeding and bowel issues.
Being a stay at home mother I also felt very isolated and lonely and because of my Daughters issues she used to cry a lot and I felt like her crying meant I was failing as a Mother so I stayed home and avoided people which deepened my PNDA. I was short tempered, sad and not my normal self. All my usual ways of coping like going out, shopping, going on holidays, working my ass off at work etc were not able to be used as a stay at home mum. About 8 months after Dani’s birth I realised I needed some help. Luckily my girlfriend gave me the details of a great psyc and my GP swiftly referred me.
My psyc diagnosed me with general anxiety and ptsd from residual childhood trauma and put me on a treatment plan and the darkness started to lift and I started to feel good about the new Mummy me. Around this time I got onto social media again and sometimes on my feed I’d see FOTF girls. Now I had entered FOTF once just before I got pregnant but I literally decided to enter on the day, I had pretty basic millinery and came nowhere so I knew a tiny tiny tiny bit. So there on my feed I started to see really beautiful women who shock horror they seemed to be grown ass women who were of all ages, sizes and seemed to be having fun!
Of course once I started down that rabbit hole of FOTF I realised how huge this community actually was no just in Australia but in my very own home town. I was following people like Milano Imai, Melissa Barnes, Lindsay Reddings, Alla Delich, and just soaking in all their beautiful creative splendor. I couldn’t wait to get started. Then BAM pregnant again, bedrest again FUCK.
But this pregnancy I was so much better emotionally and we were blessed to have a text book c section birth and a healthy full term baby this time.
As soon as Ali had reduced her feeds I attended my first FOTF event and had a great time and even won Best Millinery, but better than that I met some pretty cool chicks who I kept running into at each meet. I opened Best Dressed Accessories at the same time as I found shipping for basic items like gloves was taking a few weeks not tracked from other companies and I couldn’t get exactly what I wanted. I had worked in retail before so I thought I’d give it a crack and I loved it. More race days and more ladies who were so lovely and fun and classy I felt like I’d found some wonderful new friends and that I’d found a community in which I fit in and I belonged.
FOTF has not only given me my identity back, helped me make some amazing new friends, given me a new career, but best of all its given me joy back into my life. I now have something to look forward to every few months, something thats just for me, aside from my responsibilities as a mother and wife. I cherish every race day, every race friend and really am so passionate about our amazing community. If you are on the outside looking in please get involved the ladies and gents are so lovely and there really is a place here for everyone.